03.30.09
Hal2 yang Terjadi: Part 2
Dan ini adalah yg terjadi selanjutnya:
1. ngetik ga selesai2
2. pegel
3. pegel
4. pegel
5. terbiasa dengerin lagu2nya Beyonce demi penghayatan skripsi
6. jadi hapal lagu2nya Beyonce
7. jadi suka lagu2nya Beyonce
03.25.09
Hal2 yang Terjadi
Ini adalah hal2 yg terjadi padaku selama masa2 awal mengerjakan skripsi:
1. jadi rajin mencari buku
2. rajin meng-copy buku
3. rajin membaca buku
4. tidak menikmati masa2 nge-net sama sekali
5. ngerasain ngetik ampe pegel2 selama berjam2
6. revisi
7. revisi
8. revisi….
9. tambah ga jelas nasibku, kapan aku bisa mulai ngerjain bab 2….
03.20.09
When It’s Gone
Sometimes, we know that somehting, or someone, is not for us. We know in the very bottom of our hearts that one or two things can’t be ours. But that’s not for granted, that’s for some reasons. We actually know that if we can’t get something or someone, that’s because it is not fixed us. It is not suitable for us, it is not good for us, it will destroy us, it is not the exact way of our life, etc…etc… There are many reasons why something or someone is not for us, and we exactly, absolutely, know those reasons.
God knows everything, precisely, God knows what’s good or not good for us. God knows when to throw our hopes away, when to banish our wish away, even God knows when to disappoint us (by failing our effort in getting our targets), because God knows that that’s not good for us, that’s not predestined for us.
As I’ve said before in the previous post, I often got the fact that something that I imagine to be mine is gotten by somebody else. That’s hurt, indeed. But I can’t help, that’s God’s decision. Even I’m desperately disappointed about that and still wish that God will change its decision, but sometimes….somehow… I can accept that. I know that God knows what’s the best for me. I know….
So, when it’s gone…only God knows why…
03.13.09
I Named It, You Got It
This is what usually happens in my life…
If I want something (eagerly want something), I will imagine it to be mine, or if I want something great to happen to me, I will also imagine it to happen to me.
but…
more often that not, and usually…
It happens to somebody else, and it belongs to somebody else….NOT ME.
I named it, you got it….always like that….
03.12.09
Tergantung Pasar
Di dunia kapitalis ini, semua hal bisa aja jadi komoditas alias barang jualan, termasuk sepak bola. Nah, dalam sepak bola sendiri aja, seorang pemain ato pelatih juga bisa jadi barang jualan.
Oke, kalo sepak bola sendiri urah jelaslah ya bisa jadi barang jualan, secara hak siarnya bisa dijual-belikan antar stasiun TV dan tentunya bos2 yg megang hak siar dan pertandingan sepak bola itu sendiri bisa dapat uang. Apalagi kalo udah jadi taruhan di bandar judi, siapa yg diharapkan pasar untuk menang, ya tim itulah yg menang dan bos2 tersebut pastinya juga dapet komisi dan penjualan kompetisi kepada pada para bandar judi.
Yang kedua, pemain. Mereka ini jelas2 adalah barang jualan di dunia bisnis sepak bola. Liat transfer window rameee…..banget itu….Haaiihh….bakat dan tenaga bermain mereka diperjual belikan kayak robot. Kalo istilahnya Roy Keane: pemain sepak bola sekarang hanyalah seonggok daging yg diperjual belikan oleh klub dan nasib mereka ada di tangan klub.
Yang ketiga, pelatih. Yang menyandang status pelatih sama aja ma pemain. Tenaga mereka bikin strategi dan melatih sepak bola diperjual belikan di pasar bebas di dunia bisnis sepak bola. Liat aja klub2 yg suka gonta-ganti pelatih ga jelas gitu…
Di dunia yg sangat kapitalis ini, segala sesuatu hal bisa jadi barang jualan, asalkan masyarakat suka dan bisa mendatangkan uang. Termasuk manusia… We’ve indeed had lost our nature of humanity.
03.10.09
Somekind of Feminist Songs
I really like these songs…despite my loneliness….or perhaps…strengthens my own way of life…?? WHATEVER….!!!
Irreplaceable – Beyonce
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Mmmm to the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, that’s my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, baby, please don’t touch (don’t touch)
And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And it’s my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout
How I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable?
So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn’t know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout
How I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable (irreplaceable)?
So since I’m not your everything (irreplaceable)
How about I’ll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear for you)
I won’t lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
‘Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy
To the left, to the left.
To the left, to the left.
Mmmmm
To the left, to the left.
Everything you own in the box to the left
To the left, to the left.
Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking
You’re irreplaceable?
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’?
You must not know ’bout me (baby)
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute
You can pack all your bags we’re finished (you must not know ’bout me)
‘Cause you made your bed now lay in it (you must not know ’bout me)
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable?
If I were a Boy – Beyonce
[Verse]
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)
[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
[Bridge]
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
[Chorus 2]
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy
My Way, My Loneliness
Now…I’m quite confused with my own life, seeing my friend’s story. Remember that Super Cinderella?? Yup! Remember someone who has gone?? Yup! That Super Cinderella has lost her fiance forever, and now…there’s someone coming to her life again. Someone who looks like her former fiance, someone whose voice is just like her former fiance. Even though that Super Cinderella doesn’t want to make any relationship with the guy yet, but at least…there’s someone going to fill her life again, pour her up with love again.
Well, I don’t wanna be jealous. Since the first time I know her, I can only think and say to myself, I have my own life…my own way. I don’t have to, and I don’t wanna be like her…in any way. Being jealous to someone…anyone (including my friend)…will only torture me, give me some pain that I can’t stand of. So, I don’t wanna see her life, I only wanna see my life. But then, when I see my own life, the way that I choose, sometimes it hurts me that I feel empty inside…empty…
I’ve known love since I was teenager, an age in which many girls like me will feel the same when they like someone. Feeling that I can’t expalain here since I’ve forgotten the way it felt, because I’m not a teenager anymore, and I’m not stupid anymore. But yeah… I think you know what I mean by a teenager’s love story. I’ ve been growing up seeing many love stories and having my own ones. I’ve felt many things, and mainly, many rejection. I’ve been growing up with loving someones and feeling a special thing to someones, and painly, with being rejected and unloved. The more I grow up, the more I see many things about love and men, the more I see the fact about life and that gives me a special experience to learn, a lesson to learn. The point is: if I felt tortured in my teenage life for being rejected and unloved, now I feel good being lonely. I can always say: I’m very proud to be single and happy!
Is it really good?? Well, one of many things that can make me happy is that I can always imagine that there’s someone good loving me for me, that we can be happy, even though there are so many obstacles in front of us. Imagine….yes…imaginations… Many times, always, more often than not, those imaginations go away and hurt me with the fact that I can’t endure. The fact that, so far, there’s no one loving me, no one for me.
Sometimes… I can cheer myself up with my own way that I choose. I choose to pursue my dream, the target of my life. I choose to pursue many achievements, being smart…even very smart with reading many books. I choose being lonely because I don’t wanna be hurt by men with betrayal, ego, cheating, and so on, and so on… I choose to be happy by my own way, and still… sometimes the loneliness that I deliberately choose…makes me feel empty. EMPTY.
Now I’m questioning myself: will my life always be like this??
03.09.09
Aku Kecewa
Baru aja liat foto yg terkait dengan suatu berita…dan aku kecewa…bener-bener kecewa…dia nggak seperti yg aku bayangkan…
I’m desperately disappointed….don’t know what to say….
Chapter 1…Done!
Oke…ini adalah beberapa hal yg terjadi pada orang (baca: aku) yg mengerjakan bab satu dalam skripsinya:
1. baca materi selama satu minggu
2. corat-coret rancangan bab 1 selama 4 hari
3. sakit2an dengan beberapa penyakit secara bergantian: ambeyen level 3, kurang darah, pusing kepala, kram karena haid, diare, maag
4. kehilangan semua data, file, bahan2 materi dan alamat2 website penting karena ternyata flash disk terkena virus
5. menambal rancangan bab 1 yg udah jadi, habis itu malah merasa tidak yakin dengan apa yg baru aja diketik
6. berdoa supaya sang dosen meng-acc bab1 dengan segera, dan jika ada kesalahan ato kekurangan, segera memberi petunjuk karena aku sendiri pusing dan bingung, bagian mana yg salah.
sekian untuk bab1, semoga di bab2 bencana yg terjadi tidak separah di atas…. amin….
03.05.09
Lelucon Inter Milan
Oke, aku mang bukan penggemar liga Serie A Italia (jujur aja), dan aku juga bukan penggemar Inter Milan (jelas dari judulnya kali…), dan kalopun kadang aku niat nonton Inter, yg aku liat justru Pak Mourinho yg keren dan lucu sekali dalam berekspresi. Nah, karena kemaren salah satu stasiun TV nayangin COpa Italia di mana Inter vs Sampdoria, dan aku tertarik buat liat, makanya aku niatin bangun dini hari buat nonton.
Oke, setelah nonton, yg aku liat bukannya ekspresi Mourinho yg berlebihan, bukannya maen sepak bola dengan baik dan benar, tapi malah lelucon2 aneh. Lelucon pertama, mereka kalah mengenaskan dengan permainan aneh yg bukan Mourinho banget dengan skor 3-0. Lelucon kedua, Balotelli sering kali merasa disakiti. Ketiga, banyak pemain dengan akting pas-pasan mencoba untuk meyakinkan wasit bahwa mereka telah disakiti. Keempat, lagi2, Balotelli tiba2 jatuh sendiri tanpa disenggol sedikitpun dan akhirnya harus ditandu keluar lapangan (moga2 dia ga jantungan kayak Ruben de la Red).
Yang akhir2 ini ngerasa aneh ma penampilan Inter, mungkin juga notice kalo penampilan mereka lebih terlihat lucu daripada keren ala Mourinho. DUa kali Adriano berulah dengan tangan tapi ga dikasih kartu kuning, kemaren pas ngelawan Roma mereka juga seharusnya kalah karena gerakan Balotelli yg aneh justru menghasilkan penalti. Anehnya lagi, setelah Julio Cesar dipuji habis2an karena pas ngelawan MU di Liga Champion dia tampil heroik, di partai ngelawan Roma justru ancur2an. DODOL.
Beneran, nonton Inter Milan akhir2 ini justru bikin pengen ketawa. Padahal udah diniatin nonton gitu…yg ada malah hal2 yg aneh… Terakhir ada gosip di suatu situs bahwa sebuah penelitian di Italia mengungkapkan bahwa Inter seharusnya sekarang no.4 di klasemen karena keberadaan mereka di puncak klasemen sebenarnya karena bantuan wasit selama ini. Whhuuuaaahhh…..WHAT A FUCKING SILLY THING!!!!
